I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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