My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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