his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
