Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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