I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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