i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
