no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
