hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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