Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
