Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
