How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
