And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
