If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize