i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
