Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
