I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dicks are not precious.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
