and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
