and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
