that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
