His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
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No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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