Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
