he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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