After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just had sex bonerless
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
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Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
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Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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