I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize