mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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