You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
