im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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