brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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