too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
