you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
