Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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