did you get engaged???
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
