So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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