I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
