Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
