If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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