Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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