I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize