ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
