I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
