you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
