My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
