i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
