My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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