Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
