His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
