Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
