I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
