Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
im holly from the hills drunk
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either way he was missing a nipple.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
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The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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