It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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