Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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