Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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