How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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