I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
