Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
