Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
