Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
