Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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