mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
