I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
