Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You pole danced in your parka.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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