I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
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Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i now understand why vodka
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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