The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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