So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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