I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
