i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
