I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize