What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
