I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
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