I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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