Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
