From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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