New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i've created a new STD.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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